We all conduct our relationships with other people using our personality. Our personality, however, is made up of various parts, which can be called self(s). When we relate with others there are quite a few different self(s) involved in our relationships and thats the reason, relationships are never simple. It is rather like there are two groups relating, and not just two people. This is why sometimes we feel caring towards our partner and at other times we want to be cared for; it is why sometimes we admire a quality in our partner tremendously and at other times we see that same quality as a fault; and why sometimes something our partner amuses us and at other times that same action irritates.
Relationships thrive on good communication. When people know exactly what is in the other's mind, a relationship proceeds smoothly.Once people understand the hidden signs and the precise meaning of what is being said, they can develop a very healthy relationship. People feel good if some body understands them. They get irritated if somebody does not understand them. Irrespective of their own bad communication, they want people to understand them. Here lies the clue to communication and relationships.And all our modern technology such as email, cell phones, and text messaging and tiny music players and portable videos seem to distract our attention from the present moment more and more.Even though all the new technological toys we have today were supposed to free up our time and make us more connected, it can have an opposite effect. When we do spend time with our families or friends, many of us are also tied to the computer, or our cell phone or we’re busy sending and receiving text messages.
How often have we speaking to a friend on the telephone, and heard the clacking of keyboard in the background? Our friend may be typing up email messages to someone else at the same time he or she is talking to us. So we’re not getting his full attention, and neither is the other person.Many of us are used to not just multi-tasking with our jobs, but also with our friends. Why give our attention to the person in front of us, when there might be a message on our computer at the same time? A better, more exciting offer might come in any minute, on our cell phone, or in our email.Our attention is never really where we are. Our mind is split. We’re never really committed to working when we are at work, and we’re never really present with the people we care about, because someone else is on the line, Or something else is on our mind.
So I would say we have to compare it with our real values and priorities in life. Is our hectic lifestyle really bringing us the quality of life that we want? Examine whether the way we are currently spending our time accurately reflects our deepest values and priorities. Make sure that we schedule adequate time for the things that are truly most important to us. If we really want to keep friends in our life, we need to make a space in our schedule and a space in our heart for them. And most importantly we need to practice the art of being fully present with the important people in our life.
"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand."
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